the number you were trying to reach
by ajksmusic
Summary: It all starts with a mistake.  MASSIVE spoilers for 47 Seconds, so DO NOT read if you are spoiler free!  Rated M for words, not for situations.


**Disclaimer: Really, I hope they don't think of things in the shower like I do, and leap out to write it.**

A/N: MASSIVE spoilers for "47 Seconds" ... if you are spoiler free, do not continue. I repeat, do not continue reading!

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><p>"Son of a bitch!" She hears the smashing of a cup on the other side of the mirrored glass in the interrogation room, and she blinks, knowing no one was in there when she began questioning Robert Lopez.<p>

The door slams, and she catches a glimpse of her shadow passing by the window in the door.

_When did Castle get back?_

The dots connect.

_"I was shot in the chest and I remember every second of it."_

_"Son of a bitch!"_

The smashing, no, not smashing. The dropping of a cup.

Shit. Shit shit shitshit_shit_.

The case file drops to the floor, forgotten, as she rips the door open, darting around the corner to the observation room. She can't even notice the stares from the small bit of the bullpen she can see. All she can hear is the slamming of chairs and folders as she takes into account the mess on the windowed side of the glass.

The travel mug shattered on the floor, the chair tipped on its side, the dent in the wall where the door was flung open.

Fuck.

She hears the elevator ding, and knows that everything is screwed, royally screwed. Esposito races around the corner, the righteous fury exuding from his pores.

"What the hell just happened? Castle just slammed into me, never apologized, and actually _growled_ at me when I tried to say something!" She has never seen him so pissed, actually rip roaring pissed at someone that wasn't a suspect.

"Take care of Lopez, I have … I can't … Espo." She hopes the look in her eyes tells him something, because right now? She can't deal with it, with him, with the bullpen. She has to go, _now_, and explanations will have to wait. She leaves Javi stuttering behind her, and damn near races through the bullpen amid the stares and muttered comments.

The elevator dings it's way down the list of numbers, and it's taking forever. As she watches the numbers crawl, not knowing why she's really staring at this when she could be taking the stairs because she just has to see him, they stop. Between floors 3 and 4, they stop.

Dammit.

Her heart racing, she darts towards the stairs, nearly slamming into Ryan, who has the unfortunate timing to be in her way. With an agility that she doesn't realize she has, or doesn't notice she has, not now, she leaps over stairs on her way down, needing to get to the third floor. Or the fourth. She realizes she has no plan, and as she reaches the set of stairs between the two floors, she stops. Castle is there, and the need to be at either floor is gone with the realization that he won't be on the third floor, or up at the fourth.

Shit. She's screwed this up, beyond what she can repair, at least at this moment in time. She was going to tell him, soon. She's been building up to that moment, and this case, the realization that in a split second, someone else could take her life, his life, without picking either of them out purposefully? She can't handle him not knowing anymore.

But this? This was not how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to go out to dinner, go to someone's apartment, her place, his place, it doesn't really matter where. They were supposed to talk it out, peacefully. Yes, there would be yelling from both of them, but for him to overhear her telling it to someone else, to a suspect no less? He'll never forgive her.

Her inner monologue is interrupted by a mechanical noise, and she's jolted out of her mind. With a pounding heart, she realizes that the elevator is moving again. Leaping to her feet, she starts to head up the stairs, hoping he's heading back to the bullpen, but then stops.

It's heading down.

He's heading out. He's actually _leaving_, and it pierces her heart before she can really comprehend what it means in her head.

He's leaving.

She grabs the handrails, because at the speed that she's going to be racing? She can't afford to break anything, not now, not when _everything_ is heading downstairs and out the door. She leaps down the stairs, two by two, sometimes three by three, because one step at a time is too damn slow, and the mental correlation between the actual number of steps she's taking and the steps in their relationship almost brings her heart completely into her chest. One step at a time is too damn slow, and now she's skipping steps one and two, and they've headed straight to step three.

_"I love you, Kate."_

She almost bypasses the lobby door and heads straight on to the basement before realizing what she's done, and she spins on her heels, slamming through the door in time to see Castle storm from the elevator to the front door.

"Castle!" She calls after him, her voice hoarse and breathless and she feels like she doesn't sound human anymore. He never looks up, and she hopes it's because he just can't hear her. "Rick!"

Nothing. Not a change in his posture, no look back, nothing. Grabbing her phone out of her pocket (she's not even sure when she grabbed that, she knows it wasn't in her pocket when she was interrogating Lopez) she frantically dials his number, hoping that he'll answer, but knowing that it's futile.

She watches him as she hears the phone ring in her ear. He never looks down, never takes his phone out of whatever pocket he has it in. She hears a voice in her ear, and thinks it's his voicemail, and she prepares herself to leave a message. It's then that she realizes what the phone is saying.

"The number you were trying to reach has calling restrictions which has prevented the completion of your call."

She calls his number again, and again and again, and he never moves. As he heads out the door, never looking back at her, she keeps hearing it on repeat.

"The number you were trying to reach has calling restrictions which has prevented the completion of your call."

Son of a bitch.

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><p><em>AN: I was in the shower, and this had sort of been roaming around in my head, with no clear direction at all. It randomly hit me, and this came out in about an hour's time. Obviously, by 11 pm EST, we will have the actual conclusion, so I wanted this posted before it aired. Hope you enjoyed!_


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